As a creative, I have been quite disturbed by the fact that my personal projects have been kicked to the curb for a few weeks now. I have had the craziest work schedules for about 8 weeks straight (and counting) that sometimes I wonder, ‘How are you still here? Okay? Thriving?’
I love creating. I love putting together well thought-out audio-visual content. I try to write when I can. What I don't like is being unable to do these things more frequently. Creativity is a process. While some birth ideas like they're reading the first three letters of the English alphabet, a lot more thinking, patience, criticism accompanies my own idea birthing process. For me to do this, I need time. Lots of time. Alone. Sadly, I've not had those moments for a while now.
And it could be frustrating.
I think creatives are not frustrated about executing sub-par ideas as much as they are of not doing anything at all (I like to think this is because the more you do it, the better you/it gets.) That has been me for months — Zero. Nada. Nothing. I'm surrounded by content curators in both digital and physical spaces so you know how biting that could get. The feeling that this person is doing so much while you're doing so little— or nothing at all.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my job and I like to think I’m pretty good at it. But I believe we should be able to hold down a legit job and also get just the right amount of time we need to do other things without one hustle getting in the way of the other. I had that luxury months ago. I don’t have it right now due to some expected temporary issues but I will very soon. And I can’t wait to get back to full creator mode.
What has kept me and what still does when I see people in droves, creating, building, growing, achieving is honest self-reflection. I might be lagging behind in the “Personal Creativity Project Department” but how about in other areas?
Then I feel much better. I have grown professionally over the past few months more than I have in years. There are unbelievable learning curves everyday. I've met and still continue to meet amazing people and I've managed to foster meaningful relationships with a few. Plus, this moment is only temporary just as it is in life with its different phases. I'm eating well, I just got an amazing Tori Kelly album, Beyoncé is still alive, maybe not sleeping as much (and as well) as I should but how many hardworking young adults do these days?
The point is, it might seem as though you're underachieving. Heck, you actually might be underachieving when you juxtapose your life and your journey with conventional societal expectations as opposed to your own standards and the truth of your reality.
I also think it's important that you get honest with yourself.
‘OMG! I hate where I'm at!’
Really? Are you? And what have you done to unhate where you are? How best are you making use of the resources available at your disposal? Because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Sometimes, we're blind to certain things right in front of us because we've set our minds to other priorities.
How much do you think about ‘hanging out’ and ‘just having a good time’ as opposed to your next task towards personal, physical, spiritual and financial growth? How often do you abandon your responsibilities for other informal engagements?
What I'm saying is, don't complain when you don't make effort. It is an insult to less-privileged persons that struggle for 0.0005/100 the resources you have. I believe that if you occupy a space that others cannot easily access or secure an appointment somewhere where countless people strive to get in to, the onus is on you to make best use of the resources available to you.
‘I hate where I'm at!’
Okay, uhm. Why don't you leave?
If you're legitimately, honestly working towards a better life, good for you. We're making headway soon. If you're not? Bye.
Damn. This was supposed to be a WhatsApp update.